


Exfoliation

by icedteainthebag



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants - Fandom, The X-Files
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-26
Updated: 2011-07-26
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:20:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedteainthebag/pseuds/icedteainthebag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time for a rubdown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exfoliation

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to hell. This fic was written for the xf_pornbattle.

It was a pleasant morning in Bikini Bottom as SpongeBob SquarePants opened his front door to pick up his morning paper. He was upset to find it soggy until he remembered he lives underwater.

Suddenly he saw a pink starfish face down in the sandy front yard of his pineapple house. "Patrick?!" he yelled, zooming over to him. "Pat? Speak to me!"

Patrick raised his head as much as he could, being a starfish and all. "Oh, hey, SpongeBob. Where am I?"

"My front sand," SpongeBob said. "Pat, what happened?"

"Oh gee," Patrick said, standing up. "I think I had one too many last night. There was this guy with fingerless black gloves and we were sharing a plate of Crabby Patties..."

_________________

"Can I borrow your mittens?" Patrick asked his brand new friend. He loved eating Crabby Patties with brand new friends.

"They aren't mittens, you numbskull," Frohike said, wiping crabby muck from the corner of his mouth. "They're fingerless black gloves."

"Wow!" Patrick exclaimed. He laughed. The word 'glove' made him laugh.

"Patrick, do you want to come home with me and help me out with something?" Frohike asked.

"Would I EVER!" Patrick beamed.  
_________________

"So what happened next, Pat?" SpongeBob was on the edge of his watery seat. They'd moved inside his pineapple house. It smelled like pineapples.

"Hold on, I'm gettin' to it," Patrick said.

"Meow," Gary lamented.  
_________________

"Tell me Pat, I hear starfish have very rough exoskeletons," Frohike said, shedding his tan fringe vest.

"Exo-wha wha??" Patrick asked, hopping up and down. He was so excited about his new friend.

"Patrick, I am very, very dirty," Frohike said, eyeing him.

"You don't LOOK dirty!" Patrick exclaimed.

"Oh but I am," Frohike said, "and I need your help."

Frohike picked him up. Patrick giggled and realized that his new friend could fit him in the palm of his hand. But luckily size does not matter between friends.

"I love helping my friends," Patrick squeed.

Patrick bounced in Frohike's hand as Frohike entered his shower. Patrick was not intimidated by naked Frohike as many would have been, because he didn't know what naked people do to each other.

"I'm going to exfoliate with you," Frohike said, turning on the hot water.

"That sounds like fun!" Patrick said happily.

He giggled as Frohike rubbed his starfish body all over his hairy, naked skin. "Oh yeah," Frohike said. "That's the ticket."

"I don't have a ticket!" Patrick laughed. "But it sure feels good!"

"You're telling me!" Frohike said, grinning.  
_________________

"He used you as a loofah??" SpongeBob yelled. "Pat! You are not a loofah!"

"I'm a starfish," Patrick said, giggling.

"Meee-yowwww," Gary lamented.  
_________________

The more Frohike rubbed Patrick on his body, the shiverier Patrick got. He felt a very good tingle inside his starfish body and he had a happy laugh and suddenly, he felt very sticky and very emotionally attached to his new friend.

"Was it good for you?" Frohike asked.

"It felt like I ate the tastiest Crabby Patty in the whole world! With extra special sauce!" Patrick exclaimed as he wondered why he felt dizzy in his starfish head.

"Me too," Frohike said. "Thanks, buddy."  
_________________

SpongeBob stared at Patrick. "You gonna see this guy again, Pat?"

"Oh yes!" Patrick exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I think he's my new best friend. Besides you, SpongeBob!"

"Until he finds another bigger, rougher starfish," SpongeBob said with a sigh.

"He'll never do that," Patrick snapped.

"Meow," Gary lamented.


End file.
